Me too

So earlier today, my friend Ed Cone’s blog brought my attention to online debate about Ms. Magazine’s upcoming cover story called “We Had Abortions.” Because the majority of commenters on Ed’s blog these days are right-wing trolls I got pissed off just thinking about what they might say.

After skimming the comments, I fired off this angry comment:

I had an abortion 18 years ago, and it was absolutely the best thing for all involved including my future children which I will be able to love, nurture, and support much more effectively.

Any of you who think what I did should be illegal: How many children have you adopted lately? How much additional taxes do you want to pay for public assistance for children and the people who take care of them? How many of you are even capable of getting pregnant?

And how many of you want me making decisions about YOUR family? Now please shut up and start acting like the Christians you claim to be.

I may have been overreacting to the particular discussion, but I can’t say I regret or would take back any of it. Anyway, Ed decided my comment was interesting enough to deserve its own post on his blog, which I think is a little weird. Especially considering that his blog is frequented by a large number of rabidly conservative christians from around the state (as well as a few rational Greensboro-ites), I have to wonder what his goal was in doing that.

Although Ed harbors some belief in the mythical “objective” viewpoint, I still think he’s a pretty smart guy. But I can’t understand why he has allowed these commenters which are textbook examples of trolls to overrun his blog. In fact, not only does he allow them to publish comments, Ed actually attempts to debate them, which can only fan the flames. You can’t win an argument with a troll, they win as soon as you legitimize their remarks by responding to them. It has led me to read his blog less and to read his comments almost never. It’s not adding to a dialog, it’s just making a lot of unpleasant noise.

I have had plenty of ignorant maligners here and on OrangePolitics, and I simply refuse to provide a platform for publishing their hateful speech and personal attacks on the Internet. (It’s not like they don’t have other options that welcome their silly and slanderous comments.)

Anyway… I mostly wrote this blog entry just to say that not only did I have an abortion, but I’m glad I did, and I would do it again under the same circumstances, and I think my future children will thank me for waiting until I had the maturity and resources to be the best parent that I can be. And clearly this is a hot-button topic for me (especially when I contemplate trying get pregnant on purpose). I will have to continue to work to establish more equanimity while retaining my passion.

4 thoughts on “Me too

  1. Lets vote—

    All of us that are alive…Do you prefer to have been born or not? (me..yes to being born)

    All that were aborted…..sigh… (oh yeah…not here)

    I don’t have the answers…

    Should abortion be an option for some pregnancies….don’t know…probably…

    Should abortion be permitted as a simple form of birth control for some? Hell no.

    Are voluntary abortions covered by normal health insurance policies? I believe the voluntary (for birth control) abortions should be very expensive with the surplus used to fund education. Maybe this higher costwould reduce the number.

    If a woman who is x number of weeks pregnant is it one murder or two? If the woman is on her way to the hospital to deliver and is murdered…one murder or two? (know there are some lawyers here…I don’t know the answers)

    I think I know the answer if the woman delivers and the baby is two days old and both are murdered.

  2. Ruby,

    In no way am I trying to stimulate an argument on any level. Abortion is a reality and I do not have the answers….only more questions.


  3. Hello Ruby,

    My first time commenting here. I commend you for preserving safe space and not allowing trolls. I sure wish more bloggers did that. When it comes to topics like abortion (or misogyny, which I deal with a lot in my writing), having safe space for discussion is paramount. Thanks also for sharing your story.

    Best, Yolanda

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